STRANGE BED FELLAS — I know a G-Man. He’s one of the many feds who labored to put former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick behind bars.
The G-Man, who asked that his name not be mentioned, was working out at a Planet Fitness gymnasium the other week, located in one of Detroit’s posher outer suburbs. The G-Man, having completed his 45 minutes of cardio-vascular, emerged from the showers with a towel wrapped around his ample belly. There, a guy stared goofily at him, his face carrying the expression Don’t I know you from somewhere?
The G-Man thought it odd but continued on to his locker where he got dressed. As he was leaving the changing room, the G-Man saw that the guy with the goofy smile wasn’t smiling anymore. His face was contorted now, seeming to say I remember you now.
The guy was wearing a Cass Tech high school jacket. Embroidered on the breast was the name Kwame.
The G-Man, being a crack investigator, put it all together. Later the G-Man told me that his sources told him that Kwame Kilpatrick was indeed house hunting in the posh suburb and had even put down a deposit on an $850,000 McMansion.
“I think the guy still owes a million and a half dollars in restitution,” the G-Man laughed. “Internet preaching must pay pretty good.”
When reached by telephone, Kilpatrick indeed confirmed that he may be on his way back to Michigan, which is something of an oddity, what with the state population emptying out.
Kilpatrick said he’s not buying, but rather looking to rent, and currently the rental market is tight.
“Detroit is home, my home, and my wife’s home,” said Kilpatrick. “Maybe we’ll be back in early spring when I’m released from federal supervision. We’re definitely thinking about it. But can you do me a favor? Don’t tell people where we’re looking.”
TEMPEST IN A WINE POT – State Attorney General Dana Nessel is at it again. It seems that Madam Nessel threw a hissy fit after State Sen. Ed McBroom (R) called her out on a public affairs program, insisting that campaign finance law should be changed to prevent public officials like Nessel from accepting grotesquely expensive holiday junkets to the Caribbean from special interests.
Hearing of this, Nessel wrote to McBroom – a dairy farmer from the UP – demanding an apology, insisting that she paid her own freight for the $8,600 a night penthouse in Turks and Caicos that she shared earlier this year with her wife, a prominent attorney and the attorney’s partner.
The concierge at the luxurious Ritz-Carlton resort, however, told me that the tab – which included copious bottles of sweating champagne – was picked up not by Nessel, but rather by the law firm of her gal pal.
Nevertheless, McBroom apologized, not wanting to antagonize the vituperative attorney general.
He ought not have.
As we all know, Nessel has an estranged relationship with the truth. Rather than browbeat elected officials, Nessel should release her bank statements, which would put an end to the matter. It is, after all, the public’s right to know.
CHUTZPAH — If gall is produced in the gallbladder, then U.S. Senator Debbie Stabenow (D-MI) may be in need of an emergency cholecystectomy, so galling and misshapen is her sense of moral outrage.
Stabenow, who is retiring from the Senate, tweeted last week that Rep. Mike Johnson (R-LA) — the new Speaker of the House — was “dangerous for America.”
And maybe Johnson is dangerous for America. I, too, am not in favor of higher drug costs, tax cuts for billionaires, off-shoring our jobs or a national abortion ban as Stabenow claims Johnson is.
But the very next day after Stabenow tweeted that, Sam Bankman-Fried was convicted on seven charges related to the collapse of his crypto empire and faces more than 100 years in prison.
Bankman-Fried gave copious piles of other people’s money to politicians. Among the biggest recipients was Stabenow ($56,000), who is in charge of writing laws to regulate the crypto markets. As it turns out, Sammy The Bankman-Fraud made multiple trips to Stabenow’s congressional couch, whispering sweet bitcoins into her ear. Is there anything more dangerous than that?
Stabenow has promised to donate the Crypto-Creep’s political donations to charity. It’s unclear whether she has.
Indian Takers – It is Native American Heritage Month. So will somebody tell the privileged snot-noses in Harvard Square protesting the Israeli occupation of Palestine and harassing Jewish students that Massachusetts is Indian Country?
In fact, most of the United States territory is still disputed by native tribes. At least 15 major treaties with American Indians and their descendants have been broken, according to the U.S. Indian Claims Commission.
That means lands where college students currently stand were stolen, the original occupants slaughtered.
So somebody please tell the entitled college kids that they are occupiers. Native peoples are not ancient history. We’re still here.
If proof be needed, these elitists need only look up at the Massachusetts state flag. There in the field stands a Native American with a colonial saber hanging over his head.
The history of this country, when it comes to its indigenous peoples, is a shameful one. And that’s worth taking a class.
Nobody knows that better, perhaps, than Sen. Elizabeth Warren, the Native American representative from The Old Colony State.
Oh yeah…wait a minute.